Depressed Hobbit

Friend's only...

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 06:15:55 GMT

Comment if you want to be added to the list...

Last Public Post

Mon, 13 Oct 2003 08:45:50 GMT

This is the last post that I am making public... the rest are going to be friends only posts...

If you have something to say to me, then you say it to my fucking face... I'm tired of people talking shit over the internet and hiding behind anonymity... and I'm sick and fucking tired of people saying things to me that they don't mean... don't say it unless you mean... I am really fucking pissed off right now... I want to hit something so fucking bad... heh... and my hand had just healed up from the last time... oh well... its a vent and I like it... and theres no one anymore that can make me stop doing it... the only people that used to be able to make me stop... well... anyways... hah... I don't fucking regret any of the choices that I've made these last couple months... and I do not regret any of my actions... anyone has a god damn problem with me, you come and we'll fucking settle it... cause I'm tired of talk...

Those that are actually my friends... thanks... and those that lied to me about being a friend can fuck off...

Friends only shortly...

Sun, 12 Oct 2003 05:21:43 GMT

In a day or two this journal is going friends only...

Mostly because people are a bunch of fucking pussies and don't want to put their name to a comment that they make... You can't say it to my face, at least let me know who the fuck you are...

The Final Flight of a Broken Soul...

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 21:00:59 GMT

Without love
Without truth
There can be no turning back

Without faith
Without hope
There can be no peace of mind

Yeppers...

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 05:36:41 GMT

So I spent the last two days with ma girl Elly... good times abounded I would say... she's a cool cat... also met one of her friends named Erin... haha... she's one character... had a convo about her too between me and Elly... next time I visit Elly I need to do what we talked about with Erin, cause she wasn't there at Kappa... Elly knows what I mean... hahaha... Well I am heading back to the party... and even though I really miss Brenadette... well... I don't know... later people... damn it... every time I think about her I get down again...

More Than Meets The Eye yo...

Mon, 06 Oct 2003 21:14:02 GMT

So I'm probably gonna go put in an application to this lawn care place... it shouldn't be too hard to get a job there, one of my friend's worked there before... I think I'm gonna actually enjoy working there... I need some more physical work and to get out in the sun more...

Anyways... gotta get ready for monday night football night... woop woop...

yay

Sun, 05 Oct 2003 08:56:30 GMT

Need to sell ma sax... other than that, I think I'm set for now...

Probably gonna party hard tonight... not really lookin for action, just to get drunk and be a happy mother fucker... oh yea...

:)

This will be interesting...

Sat, 04 Oct 2003 06:51:39 GMT

Ummm... I'm out of my anger management pills... haha... at least I don't have to worry about forgetting to take the damn things...

Macguyver rocks the mullet... hardcore almost...

Fri, 03 Oct 2003 05:35:18 GMT

yea... so I can't walk correctly anymore due to the toe... I can't even fucking run... and me can't get it looked at cause me have no money for a doctor... I can tell a tenden is out of place but thats all right now... at least my knuckles are basically back to normal... anyways... if anyone has any extra money they can lend me... ummm... that'd be really cool of them...

and ummm... Sum up in one word what you think about me

dfkjg ajnga;souidf n

Tue, 30 Sep 2003 08:06:34 GMT

I miiss her so much... wy foes fuckging little shit have to mess things up so gond damn mauch... I want to hit something so vad... and you kno what... I think I ma... cause theres nothing thats ekeping me from doing it... I mean hell, I may as well fuck up the resto f my body... I need to feel physical pain... I need to feel my knuckles gringing agains someting... heeh... fuck everything... and fuck most eberyone...

Toe Jam...

Mon, 29 Sep 2003 03:21:25 GMT

Update on the toe...

Well as far I can tell its back in place... but it seems to have the same problem now as my elbow does... when its moved a certain way it pops right back out again... just great... And the movement that makes it pop out is basically just about every one that is required to walk... so now for probably a majority of my life I'm gonna have a gimp toe that makes me walk all funny... oh well...

I really hate my joints sometimes damn it...

La la la...

Sat, 27 Sep 2003 07:12:29 GMT

last couple of days have been pretty boring... basically all my life consists of right now is looking for a job that will let me work with piercings, cleaning up the apt cause thats one of my jobs to do since my friends are letting me crash at here for as long as I need, drinking beer = another one of my tasks... plus we have a kegarator thats usually filled with Amberbock :) and drawing in my sketchbook... all in all its really not so bad... I am probably going to 80's night at the independent bar with a friend since plans that I had for tonight that were made a while ago fell through... I'm gonna get to hang with one of my friend's that I haven't seen in a long time, she was the first person I met when I came down to Orlando and she kicks major ass... I may head to tampa in a couple days, I'm not sure though... I need to see if I have the gas money...

Oh and Mindless Self Indulgence is apparently playing around here sometime... I need to figure out when... but I'm too lazy at the moment...

Also... I dislocated my big toe.. and ummm... I don't have the damndest clue whether or not the thing is still dislocated... stupid thing feels like its popping in and out when I put pressure on it... blah... oh well... I'll figure it out sometime I guess...

Heh...

Fri, 26 Sep 2003 03:41:55 GMT

Nothing lasts forever... sometimes its over before it even starts...

thanks for blocking me on aim...

We'll see...

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 18:30:02 GMT

Ugh...well I'll see what happens this weekend... I dunno what's going on but I'll figure something out. I need a job... but I refuse to take out my piercings and I'm not getting a haircut... well... actually I need to get it trimmed abit I guess... the big mess has been getting out of control lately... blah... ::le sigh::... I'm gonna go take a shower and then go running... I need to start running more... I'm getting fat... blah...

Tue, 23 Sep 2003 05:58:55 GMT

Why can't shit just be simple... why can't I just be with someone I care about and not have drama... I just want to cuddle right now... I feel like shit, I thought I was fine but everything keeps coming back to me when I just want to forget about things right now... I doubt if I'll be able to cuddle with the girl I want to right now ever again... oh well... I guess I'll have to see how things go... I can only hope... much good thats done me so far though... hah... hope...

sdf asd; kinsdfal;knasdl;kfm

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 09:12:53 GMT

Ummm... I'm going back to cutting... cause you know what... I don't care anymore about people saying that its "bad for me" and that it hurts me... It helps me... and I've been taking the damn meds... and those haven't exactly been helping but I'll keep taking them just on the off chance that they might... and you know what also... I don't apologize for being a flirt just cause your friend's can't handle the fact that you were interested in someone other than them... I'm sorry it made you think differently about me, but I don't apologize for not hiding my feelings or personality... you said you don't want to change me, well thats apart of me... I'm not sorry that I came down here when I did for the reasons I did but I am sorry that you have to go through alot of shit... but I don't apologize for my actions... only that they made you think any less of me because I do caer about you... but I don't change who I am... I am just raving right now... Cutting helps me calm down... maybe I need some stronger meds but cutting helps me calm down... even the song that I use to calm me down isn't working right now... so I'll just put on some punk... I need to feel physical pain to get my mind off this shit... because I can't even go to the girl I care about right now... and I drink also... I drink when I want to... I'm not an alcoholic, I drink socially, I don't sit around like a fucking loser and drink alone... I like beer... I don't use it as a crutch... the cutting would probably be a better example of a crutch... that and hitting nice brick walls to let me see blood run down my fist... fights are good too... but I don't look for them... yea... I'm gonna go try to calm down now...

P.S.

Is it time for a nervous breakdown... oh fuck yea it is... :D

Seriously... you die now...

Thu, 18 Sep 2003 20:43:26 GMT

Next person to fuck with me dies... or at least gets bitch slapped and made to cry like the little whore they are...

And if anyone... anyone... decides to fuck with my car again... I'll kill you...

heh...

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:46:55 GMT

OPTIMUS_DORK'S :WUMPSCUT: SONG LYRIC IS

with high hopes she tried to give eternal life
but now the little worm is dead without a life
don't be sad this is the way
that all creatures have to go on their last day
to god's arbitrariness you have to bow
with no consciousness nothing to know
will we ever meet again will we suffer endlessly
we are lost in universe we are lost eternally

~ "Stillbirth" from Embryodead

created by xianvox and oizys

Hecate

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Poo gas is stinky...

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 07:07:05 GMT

so I'm wondering if I'm gonna get to be with her... cause ummm... I want to... it just doesn't seem like she wants to... I dunno... thats just the way it seems to me... or maybe I'm just too high...

Kung Pow owns your mom...

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 03:52:34 GMT

Worked at firestone last night... I really like that job even though it is tireing as fuck and I'm sore as hell after I get back home and I need to take like 2 showers to get the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and garbage off of me... When I work there I can get my mind off of things... I dunno... I'm always in a good mood when I'm working... hopefully I can get some more nights so I can pay to replace my window and get an apartment... I'm just going to get a fuckign 1 bedroom apartment... I don't want to deal with roomates... I was thinking that me and someone would move in together when I got the apartment but that looks like that ain't happening... I don't know whats going on there but whatever... I just need to get my mind off of shit... thank god for crashing at a friend's place who has a kegarator... glory be and all the good stuff... I sound like an alcoholic... but its not my fault I like drinking... and I know my limits so its all good... well back to the kegarator mother fuckers... I want to cuddle with someone... but I can't...

Feed me beer...

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 08:08:05 GMT

Fights and frat parties... oh how I've missed the fucking drama... my hand hurts again god damn it...

DIE MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!

Fri, 12 Sep 2003 06:31:16 GMT

Ummm... yea... my car got broken into... MY OLD 89 NISSAN SENTRA!!!!!... why my car? I could understand if I had a nice car... and I'm not saying my car is bad... but its OLD!! They took the face plate... not the stereo... they took the face plate... I was robbed by morons... great... seriously gay... My window is being held together by the fucking tint... yea... me not happy... so ummm... yea...

If any of you guys are throwing parties leave me a note... cause I need to drown some sorrows and be a happy camper...

Head hurts... must stop painage.. ouchies...

Tue, 09 Sep 2003 19:16:05 GMT

Ok... so ummm... yea... This is interesting...

= I get blown up on because I am not down here and a person says they want me down here really bad and wan to be with me... therefore I start getting things ready and head down here to see them because I want to see them and all my other friends...

= I get down here and see them for a day... everythings cool...

= try to see them 2 days later, can't, its all good, I just got down here, no biggie.

= Now all of a sudden they don't know if they want to be with me and a whole bunch of other stuff...

Confused? Ummm... I know I am... abit frustrated too... and I think its justifieed...

Just a quick little outburst...

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 23:25:56 GMT

;asldfsaiudf dsiofj;sodin ;osaidn safo;insad;ofisdlfns;adfn dnsf;osdnfsdinf ;sn fsdnf;sdlnf saoidnfs;odinf sa;dnfsadi fn fasdif saoidnfsad;oifn s;onsd; onsaf f

That was a random outburst brought on by some feelings of rage, anger and good old pissed offedness... thank you and back to whatever you were doing...

blah...

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 23:09:19 GMT

Well I'm back in Orlando now. I spent a couple days with a friend of mine in Sarasota, hanging out with her at her tattoo shop and letting her pierce me. She took me to a goth type club... we both got drunk and she fed me grapes cause the club was doing some 7 deadly sins thing and that night was "Sloth"... good times all around... I went to see Kitty later and I was really happy to see her but then I had to leave and go back to Orlando... no good times... I was going to hang out with her on sat. but that didn't happen... so yea... blah... I'm bored right now... I need a fucking god damn job... GIVE ME A JOB PEOPLE... blah... I'm frustrated now... need hit something...